Fear tried to stop me, but I wouldn’t let it… 

It was time for bed and I had one problem: my anxiety was through the roof! I am talking about level 10 anxiety, you know the mind spiraling, negative obsessive thoughts, heart pounding, questioning-all-of-my-next-steps type of anxiety. Yep, that kind. You see, the next day I was boarding a plane from Seattle, Washington to Orlando, Florida, all the way across the country.  

What made it even harder was remembering who I used to be. I once traveled constantly for work, monthly flights, even international trips, and I did it all alone without hesitation. But that was 11 years ago. And since becoming a mom, I had never spent a single night away from my daughter. No wonder my chest felt tight. 

The part that made everything even more complicated was that I chose this. I chose to sign up and attend a John Maxwell Leadership Conference because I wanted to learn and grow. Because it was my choice, the anxiety hit harder, I kept worrying I had made the wrong decision. It’s too soon to leave my daughter. How could I book something so far away? Will I be able to follow through on my own? My mind was drowning in ‘what ifs,’ and tears kept streaming down my face as I packed and prepared. 

I had barely slept four hours when my alarm went off….well, it was showtime.  

My Good Luck Charm 

I gathered my items together and tried to be as quiet as a mouse. I didn’t sleep well at all, but I knew adrenaline would carry me through the day. I was leaving an hour earlier than I had to because it would be harder for my daughter and I if we saw each other. I hurried up and scuttled out the front door. It was still pitch-black outside when I got into my car. I turned the ignition on, and my headlights washed over the front yard. I couldn’t believe what I saw next.  

Right in front of me, on my windowsill, was a grasshopper.  A beautiful green healthy grasshopper was just sitting there waiting for me. At that moment, in my heart, I knew this was my good luck charm, here to help me get through my day ahead. Wouldn’t you believe that grasshopper stayed with me for the entire 36-mile drive to the airport? Even though I had to get gas and take a detour, that grasshopper hung on until the second I pulled into the airport. I needed a sign and that was it. It felt like the universe was whispering, ‘Go. You’re ready.” 

The next 4 days I spent having a blast, soaking up all of the knowledge I could from the amazing network around me and taking part in growth that though I didn’t know at the time would forever change me as a person. I focused on my dreams and how I could make the next chapter of my life about helping others. My dream was to help women in the tech industry use their actions to build self-confidence, because a person’s actions are what makes them a leader. I spent 4 whole days swimming around in this dream and learning tips and the knowledge needed to bring it to reality. My experience was nothing short of incredible.  

 My Leadership Lesson 

This journey reminded me that you can and should choose growth even when you feel anxious and unsure. Always take the step that grows you. Never stop short of your dreams and don’t ever shrink yourself! I questioned myself the entire way to Florida. I hadn’t traveled alone in eleven years. I had never left my daughter for even one night. But sometimes leadership looks like doing the thing that scares you because you need the version of yourself that’s on the other side. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, a grasshopper rides with you all the way from your driveway to the airport entrance just to remind you that you’re not leaping alone. 

Don’t forget, you can choose growth even when comfort calls louder. Leadership begins the moment you stop shrinking yourself. 

Call to Action 

Here are some actions you can take to ensure you are choosing growth.  

• Schedule Time for Expansion, Not Just Execution 
  • Block one hour a week, or more if you can, for expansion thinking: dreaming, visioning, learning, imagining who you want to become (think 10 years ahead) 
• Do One Thing a Month That Makes You Slightly Uncomfortable 
  • Say yes to something you would normally talk yourself out of, apply for your dream role, speak up in that meeting, or set a new goal. 
• Notice When You’re Shrinking Yourself and Interrupt It 
  • Listen to your inner dialog. Is it negative or uplifting? Don’t let fear narrate your decisions. 

With love, leadership, and belief in yourself. You got this! 

💖 Jessica