The Moment Failure Knocked Me Down 

Some things in life are just plain hard. You try, you prepare, you give it everything you have… and sometimes you still fall flat on your face. It’s not a confidence booster; it sucks. When you set your mind on something and it doesn’t work out, it feels like a punch in the gut. I’ve been there and I’ve felt that sting. 

One winter morning, I felt it in a way I’ll never forget. I had been studying for my CCSP certification, the kind of certification that can help you stay current in an industry that changes every five minutes. I wanted it badly. I wanted to prove to myself that I belonged in the security space. I woke up nervous but determined. 

That morning the universe said, “Let’s make this interesting.” Our power was out. The roads were covered in ice. My house sat at the top of a hill that looked more like a ski slope to get out of the neighborhood.

I washed my face with bottled water, got dressed in the dark, and told myself I could still make it. Halfway down that hill leaving our neighborhood, my hands tightening against the steering wheel, my car started to spin and ended up completely sideways. I was facing the wrong direction, sliding on ice, calling my fiancé in a panic. He came to help, immediately fell on his ass, and somehow we still managed to get my car turned around. 

By the time I reached the testing center, I was frazzled to say the least and barely on time. I was met with zero compassion. I was not allowed to reschedule and there was certainly no grace. I bet they heard all the excuses in the book. What I heard was “You’re here, take the test.”  

When the results finally came in a couple of weeks later, I saw one word: 

FAILED. 

I burst into tears. I sat on the stairs and ugly‑cried for ten minutes in front of my fiancé. I felt embarrassed, defeated, and honestly… ashamed. That one word felt bigger than a test. It felt like a label, and I felt like I was not good enough. 

When Trying Again Changed Everything 

Maybe you’ve had a moment like this too. A setback, a rejection, a failed test, or an opportunity that didn’t go the way you hoped. 

After the tears were done flowing, I said something that surprised me: “Well, I’ll just have to take it again.” 

Could it really be that simple? A few weeks later, I studied again. I walked back into that testing center with a clear head and this time, I passed. However, the real lesson had nothing to do with passing a certification exam. 

Looking back, I realize I wasn’t just taking a test. I was looking for proof that I belonged. When I saw “FAILED,” it felt like confirmation of every insecurity I had about whether I was good enough. The test wasn’t measuring my worth, but in that moment, I treated it like it was. Maybe you’ve done that too, attaching your worth to a promotion, a job opportunity, a relationship, or a goal that didn’t work out the way you hoped. 

How many times do we do that? How many opportunities do we miss because we accept the failure instead of trying again? That experience taught me something that fundamentally changed who I am: I realized confidence doesn’t come from having a flawless outcome. It comes from choosing to rise again. 

When I think about it now, I can’t imagine what would have happened if I had walked away. I would have carried that “I didn’t get those credentials” weight into every future opportunity. I would have let one icy hill rewrite my entire story. 

Instead, persistence rewrote it for me. Maybe there’s a place in your life where persistence can rewrite part of your story too. 

 My Leadership Lesson 

That day, I learned that leadership isn’t built on perfection, it’s built on persistence. Failure is never the real problem; the real story is always in how you respond to it. From the outside, it seems like a simple lesson, but we’ve all had moments where we failed and simply moved on, instead of recognizing that what we actually needed was to rise again. Persistence requires you to be intentional. I had to pause, notice the setback, and choose to keep going. 

Leadership comes from the part of you that refuses to stay down. The version who tries again. The version who says, “This matters to me, so I’m not done yet.” 

If you’ve ever labeled yourself a failure, consider this your reminder: you are not defined by the moment you fell. You are defined by the moment you rise. 

Call to Action 

Take a moment today and check in with yourself: 

• Where have I labeled myself a failure? 
• What emotion did I attach to that moment? 
• What would my story sound like if persistence, not perfection, was the main character? 
• What is one step I can take this week to move forward? 

Your confidence grows every time you choose to rise. 

Yes, it’s that simple, let’s keep rising together my friends!  

With love, leadership, and belief in yourself. You got this! 

💖 Jessica